Problems. We all have them. Sometimes it gets so difficult that I can’t stop crying, but I also find myself unable to stop trying. I tell myself that things will work out when they work out, and if they don’t work out the way I intend, to not fret. It is probably a reminder that something needs attention or change. It’s another experience under my belt and experiences foster confidence. Even the best fall down sometimes and it doesn’t make us any less great. I’m pushing myself to be better and learn how to tackle problems better, instead of attacking myself, and I hope you are here to try with me.
I was asked this question on Tumblr. It’s a really great question. I mainly hide, cry, or avoid it until the problem goes away. Just kidding. Half kidding. I still struggle sometimes and am learning and becoming a better problem-solver. Problems may seem like an inconvenience at the time of occurrence, but they really allow us to grow and learn. I now view them as challenges. Challenges can be conquered. From my own previous experience and current knowledge, the following are NOT good ideas:
- Overreacting never makes a situation better. Dwelling on things that didn’t go the way you planned and affecting your happiness or yelling at someone else because you’re upset isn’t the way to go.
- Avoiding (though in some cases, it might work–ex: someone trying to piss you off and cause a reaction out of you, the best thing to do is to give them zero attention).
- Blaming others and avoiding responsibility for the decisions you made in life. Don’t be so quick to point fingers at others without first observing your own.
- Judging everything and everyone prevents you from taking action and getting closer to your goals…this, in turn, leads to frustration, then discouragement and the cycle repeats itself. Over-analyzing doesn’t work either!!
- Comparing yourself to other people (this is the BIGGEST one ever, which I’m once in a while guilty of). There’s always going to be people out there who may have accomplished more, but hey, time to time I have to remind myself this as well, we are the only us in the world (that is our power) and we get to create and write our own story and success in life. We need to only go at our own pace.
I can’t even tell you how many times where I’d feel so defeated and stressed, I’d burst into tears. It’s hard to identify what the problem is when something goes wrong and suddenly everything appears to come crashing down at once. You need to clearly define the challenge in order to come up with a workable solution.
What I do varies depending on the problem. Six things you can try include (can you all tell six is my favorite number yet?):
- Narrowing down the challenge (if it’s a really huge problem, then you will probably need to reduce the target goal. What is it that’s bothering you so much? What is the underlying problem?) Just like to-do lists, the more specific and small an item is, the more manageable and easier it is to accomplish. Get to the bottom of why you feel a certain way, and the rest will follow.
- Exercise…will boost your energy and mood, both of which may be drained by the attack of problems. Blow off some steam and lift up your emotions by having a gym session or taking a brisk walk. Exercising will stimulate brain chemicals that may leave you feeling a bit more relaxed and/or happier.
- Recognizing any patterns or previous memories/experiences/learnings may help you to identify steps in which you can reach a reliable solution or desired outcome(s).
- Breathing in and out slowly and deeply. Staying calm is important. No problem will subside from you panicking. Deep breaths will help you relax.
- Consulting a friend to get some insight (preferably someone who thinks logically).
- Doing something you enjoy (writing, blogging, reading, singing, etc) to release the stress and come back to it later. Hobbies help us recharge and gain a new perspective.
Remember to take care of yourself. The most important person in the difficult situation(s) is you. Make sure you keep a list of things that needs to change to prevent the same problems from continuing to happen. We can’t make all our problems go away since some are beyond our control, but we sure can learn from them.
I’m still learning and have a long way to go. How do YOU better handle challenges?
♡ Happy problem-handling/solving! ♡