A little over six months ago, someone anonymously asked me on Tumblr: “How do you handle your problems?” and I have been meaning to write a post about that, especially after constantly having/solving/trying to solve my problems, in hopes that it might help you in any way, or at the least make you feel less alone.
Problems. We all have them. Sometimes it gets so difficult that I can’t stop crying, but I also find myself unable to stop trying. Things will work out when they work out. If they don’t work out the way you intend, don’t fret. It is probably a reminder that something needs attention or change. It’s another experience under your belt. It’s another lesson learned. Even the best fall down sometimes…it doesn’t make us any less great. Push yourself to be better, learn how to tackle problems better instead of attacking yourself.
How do I handle problems? I mainly hide, cry, or avoid it until the problem goes away. Just kidding. Half kidding. It’s a really great question. I still struggle sometimes and am trying to learn and become a better problem-solver. Problems may seem like an inconvenience at the time of occurrence, but they really allow us to grow and learn. From previous experience and current knowledge, the following are NOT good ideas:
- DO NOT overreact. It never makes a situation better. Dwelling on things that didn’t go the way you planned and affecting your happiness or yelling at someone else because you’re upset isn’t the way to go.
- DO NOT avoid the problem (though in some cases, it might work–ex: someone trying to piss you off and cause a reaction out of you, the best thing to do is to give them zero attention).
- DO NOT blame others or avoid taking responsibility for the decisions you have made in life. Don’t be so quick to point fingers at others without first observing your own.
- DO NOT judge everything and everyone. No over-analyzing!! It prevents you from taking action and getting closer to your goals…this, in turn, leads to frustration, then discouragement and the cycle repeats itself
- DO NOT compare yourself to other people (this is the BIGGEST one ever, which I’m guilty of too). There’s always going to be people out there who may have accomplished more, but hey, time to time I have to remind myself this as well, we are the only us in the world and we get to create and write our own story and success in life. We need to only go at our own pace.
I can’t even tell you how many times where I’d feel so defeated and stressed, I’d burst into tears. It’s hard to identify what the problem is when something goes wrong and suddenly everything comes crashing down at once. You need to clearly define the problem in order to come up with a workable solution.
What I do varies depending on the problem. Six things you can try include (can you all tell six is my favorite number or…?):
- Narrowing down the problem (if it’s a really huge problem, then you will probably need to reduce the target goal. What is it that’s bothering you so much? What is the underlying problem?) Just like to-do lists, the more specific and small an item is, the more manageable and easier it is to accomplish. Get to the bottom of why you feel a certain way, and the rest will follow.
- Exercise…it will boost your energy and mood, both of which may be drained by the attack of problems. Blow off some steam and lift up your emotions by having a gym session or taking a brisk walk. Exercising will stimulate brain chemicals that may leave you feeling a bit more relaxed and/or happier.
- Thinking about all the various factors and potential variables in the problems and identify steps in which you can reach your desired outcome(s)
- Breathing in and out slowly and deeply. Staying calm is important. No problem will subside from you panicking. Deep breaths will help you relax.
- Consulting a friend to get some insight (preferably someone who thinks logically).
- Doing something you enjoy (writing, blogging, reading, singing, etc) to release the stress and come back to it later. Hobbies help us recharge and gain a new perspective.
Remember to take care of yourself. The most important person in the difficult situation(s) is you. Make sure you keep a list of things that needs to change to prevent the same problems from continuing to happen. We can’t make all our problems go away since some are beyond our control, but we sure can learn from them.
I’m still learning and have a long way to go. How do YOU handle your problems?
Comment below and tell my curious self one thing you do to better handle problems!
♡ Happy problem-handling/solving! ♡